The Nightly Visitor

Holy Crap! Seriously.Big.Spider.

He's been coming out the past few nights inside my mom's window. He's so scary looking. As long as he stays inside the window we can be friends. Sort of.

Flashback

I've been working with my mom's computer and found some old pictures. Since I was not a blogger when Pacen was a baby, his cute little baby self doesn't get any face time. Wasn't he just adorable?!?!?! He was right around a year in these pictures.

Pacen and I had some fun. We did lots of shopping and playing. He was a great traveler. He made the flight from Michigan to California many many times in his first years of life. One time the flight attendant took Pacen and walked around the plane with him for a while. He was happy all the time. We even drove to New York and North Carolina....I should document those someday when I have nothing to blog about.

Mom has always gotten on the ground and played with my kids. They love that little plane. It's Loren's southwest plane that reminds him of how he would fly once a week up to Oroville every Thursday then turn around and fly back on Sunday after they were married so that Emily could finish highschool in Oroville. He did that for two and half years!!! That is love and sacrifice for someone that wasn't even his kid. That is what kind of guy Loren is. And what kind of Mom mom is. Not many people would live apart for two years after they had been married.

This is our crew i think thanksgiving 2005. Not much has changed...Erin has had a few boyfriends that have come and gone...we've added a few more kids. Oh, and the sadness. India just died while mom and Loren were on vacation in Britain. She was the best dog. She was mom's dog, but really, she was Erin's dog. She followed her EVERYWHERE and Erin would hide, and we'd cover India's eyes and then she'd go crazy finding her. Love that dog.

We haven't had our beach time yet. I feel it coming.

Mom's House

We've had a pretty busy and fun weekend at mom's house. Emily, Erin, Marc & Ken came up for most of the time to play with us and the kids. They are all so so good with my kids. Now Than is back in Utah and I'm out here for the time being. Hopefully I can be of some help here and keep the kids from driving everyone crazy. :)
Here's the weekend lowdown.

Do you think we were all a little tired????

After we were all rested, we played some horseshoes!!! I am TERRIBLE at this game, but everyone else is good...especially Erin...and Emily once she's had a few drinks. She just can't play well sober. :)

I had to document my points to prove that they actually happened. And do you see that...that would be a ringer baby.

Than's pretty good, too.

Do you see this bright, shiny, new Penny??? She's like a whole different dog. There are just too many stickers out here for her long hair. I miss her long hair, but I think she likes this new little summer cut.

Emily stocked the house full of water balloons and water guns.

Pacen could dish it out but couldn't take it.

Papa Loren & Claira happily watching from the sidelines.


At dinner, Claira was all about this corn. Don't even think about taking it away.

And we've played some Wii. Pacen can remember exactly who played him and who won each game. He's getting to be a pretty good golfer. Mom is a good sport to play with him.

Thank you.

I am a blessed little girl. I can't thank all of you enough for all the love and support that was sent my way after I posted that about my mom. Seriously I was bombarded with phone calls and emails and I so appreciate all of it. I feel much better when I'm talking about everything. I love to feel the love from all the people around me. It really makes you feel better. I got to cry my eyes out to Jana (thanks for dropping everything and coming to my rescue) and many friends and family members the past couple days. It's just what I needed especially with Than out of town.
The kids & Penny and I drove down to San Diego yesterday. It was a relatively easy trip despite our crazy storm we had to go through outside of vegas. It was crazy lightning and thunder and heavy heavy rain...we were all driving like 20 miles an hour. I was like...i'm in vegas, right??? The desert??? But it was still 105* in Baker. Love that thermometer. The kids were great. Claira is just heaven sent. She just sat and played and only cried for like 10 minutes of the whole trip. Penny didn't ever bark or whine. It was great. It feels so good to be around family and lean on each other for support and to just sit around and laugh.
My mom met with her doctor yesterday and he said it's bad, but not horrible. All the tumors are small so they are going to try to fight it. The bottom line is that this cancer is what she will die from, but now it a matter of fighting it and keeping those tumors from growing. This cancer is so rare that there isn't enough information out there to say that if you do this, then that will happen. But there is a new drug (so new that the pharmacy is not authorized to sell it and they have to have it shipped to her house) that they are going to try first, and if that doesn't work, they'll try plan B, and then C and so on. Our spirits were lifted if only temporary. Our prayer is now is that this new treatment will be effective and her body will respond to it to stop the growth of these tumors to give us more time with our mama.

This comes from Elder Uchtdorf's message "Prayer and the Blue Horizon"

"President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973) taught: “The sincere prayer of the righteous heart opens to any individual the door to divine wisdom and strength in that for which he righteously seeks.”2

The answers to our prayers come in the Lord’s due time. Sometimes we may become frustrated that the Lord has delayed answering our prayers. In such times we need to understand that He knows what we do not know. He sees what we do not see. Trust in Him. He knows what is best for His child, and being a perfect God, He will answer our prayers perfectly and in the perfect time.

Are prayers answered? I testify that they are.

Can we receive divine help, wisdom, and support from heavenly realms?

Again, I testify with certainty that such is the case."

Worst News Possible

This is the email that Loren sent out today. Today is a very bad day. Please pray for our family during this really difficult time.

I am sorry about this being a mass E-Mail. But I can't write this more than once. We just got home from the radiation oncologist and got the results of Linda's CT Scan. The cancer has spread quite a bit. There are nodules on her lung, on her liver, on her adrenal glands, as well as in the upper chest. None of these were there four months ago. The kidney nodule is still there as well. So this is a fast growing cancer. It seems there is little they can do. This radiation oncologist tells us that, if left alone, she has a matter of months left, perhaps up to a year. We see the regular oncologist tomorrow. He is usually a positive guy and can probably give us better information. We need to decide if Linda will undergo aggressive chemotherapy in the hopes of slowing down the spread and prolonging her life. Or will she just choose to live as well as she can for as long as she can without all the side effects of the chemo? Perhaps there are other options? It didn't sound like there are good ones. Right now, we are both in shock. That is so even though the result was not totally unexpected. I have been fearing this for weeks. But it is still a blow when it is made real. The spread was worse than I had feared. Linda is OK so far. She is feeling OK, having gotten over whatever illness there was that affected her over the weekend. She is coping as well as she can. I am severely depressed, but trying to manage. Thank you all for caring about Linda and me. I will try to add any news as we get it.
Loren

Star Wars Guess Who, Anyone????

We got this game for Pacen for his birthday, and now it's an everyday favorite. Multiple times a day.

The problem is that they don't exactly 'get it'. They'll ask questions like, "Do you have a lightsaber?" I'll say yes. Then they'll be like...what do I do now? Then they'll ask, "Do you have a gun?" No! You just found out I had a lightsaber! They are getting better--i'll give them that. My favorite is when Camry picks the guy and tells you who it is and I tell her to put it back and then gets mad because she just wants to be that guy. Or I'll say, "Do you have a lightsaber?" and she'll say, "No, I'm Boba fett. He has a gun." A yes or no would be just fine. :)

Don't you remember playing Guess Who as a kid? I didn't have the game, but I remember loving it and just being able to play it again and again. That's what we're doing now. Some things never change.

Claira loves it, too. She keeps trying to knock everything down and chews up all the cards. It's family fun for everyone!

And Thanks to Ben for teaching my kids FHE the other night. It was on prayer, and all day today when we prayed they would say, "You have to fold your arms and close your eyes and bow your head because Ben said so." It's so funny....I have NEVER taught you that!!!! What an amazing concept!?!?!? Thanks to Ben for finally teaching my kids the way to pray. :)

Keeping Me Busy...

The Nukaya's have been keeping me busy while Than has been out of town. We did round two of their family pictures yesterday. That dempsey...she is a fireball.
I just love that she in both little sessions we have upside down pictures of her trying to get her to smile and be happy.

Thanks for keeping me busy!!!

Sun Burned Babies!

Today Than was home...hooray! So we took the kids to the pool since it was 100 degrees today! Pacen was in love with the lazy river, while Cam and Claira were loving the little kiddy area. Than made Pacen swim a whole lap of the pool...down and back...and he did pretty good. We made Cam swim, too. She hated it, but she actually does really well. Now if we can only get her to enjoy herself and breathe!

This is typical before bed behavior. Claira loves to hold things in her mouth and crawl around. Toothbrushes are one of her favorites.

This is the "Please Mom Help Me!" face.

Man, we love these kids!