First Step---Plank Position...

Next step....downward dog!

Here's my Yoga baby.

It's pretty sad when your baby can hold a plank position longer than you can!

And I just saw her first tooth almost broken through her bottom gum!

so cute.

Playing with Mom--Tea Party Time

I'm not good at "playing". I don't think that I ever have. I remember playing house and school, riding bikes and playing baseball...even doing 'gymnastics' in the front yard, but I'm just not that good at make believe. But Camry is. She loves it. She is all about her tea party and was so excited when we had our own little party with a bunch of stuffed animals. The problem being that I run out of steam after about the 5th time we have the "yummy cookies you have to eat with a fork." But she was so happy and I loved playing with her. We even had a little game of duck-duck-goose going on with the animals. She is my little princess.

Then Pacen came home and kicked all of her plates around.

Camry cried. He's turning into a real boy. :)

I'm home!

Man I missed these kids!!!!

It's so good to be home! Like I said, it was good to be in San Diego with the family, but it was hard. Just emotionally draining. I just keep thinking about how I get to be home and go on with life, but my mom just has to sit there in pain constantly and it doesn't end for her. I know that is just life, but it's terrible. She actually was able to manage her pain better yesterday, so maybe there is a little light at the end of the very long tunnel.

Than was super dad while I was gone. Chuck E. Cheese, games and friend's houses all week resulted in some very tired kiddos. Don't worry--we went immediately from the airport to the BYU vs. UTAH basketball game, then to our soccer game at 9:00pm. But I scored finally so it was all worth it. And BYU won. But what was completely wrong was the fact that in the prayer before the game, the guy praying described the utes as the "Sugar Bowl Champion Utes"....IN the PRAYER! What's up with that?!?!?! I almost couldn't say amen.

Pacen and Camry were so excited to see me! Pacen told Than that he liked seeing all his friends, but he missed his mom more. What a sweet boy! Actually, I think they really missed Claira more than me. That's who they really wanted to see. And I think that she missed them, too. She was all smiles and talking when she saw them. Oh...the fun family reunion.

And I know you all missed Claira while I was gone! Claira is already a professional fly-er and everyone just thought she was beautiful. One guy even stopped me in the airport telling me that I need to put her into modeling. Funny...but no thank you. Claira has also found her tongue. She loves to make all sorts of silly faces. It was fun to just be with her for a few days. One on one time with her doesn't happen very often.

Mom update

My mom is coming home today. After 8 days in the hospital. She was pretty much going crazy, but she needed to be there. She had some fluid draining out of her neck (yeah...i know...ouch) but now it's stopped for the most part, and she's been able to manage her pain with the right meds. I'd feel so bad for her because they'd always ask her to rate her pain from 1-10 and it was never lower than a 7. I think being home will help her to heal faster. The doctors are still working out what to do next. There is still more treatment on the horizon. Probably a combination of chemotherapy and radiation as soon as she's healed. It's not going to be fun, but they need to do what they can to get this cancer out of her. It's completely aggressive and growing. We're really hoping and praying that they can get in front of this monster. I'm really glad that I was able to come out here. I've just been hanging out in a hospital room, but it's been nice to be here. Claira makes people happy, too. She's been such a good baby this week. People always say what a calm demeanor she has and it's true. I wish that I could stay longer to take care of her, but Pacen and Camry need me too. And let's not forget Than. :) This morning Camry asked Than while he was combing her hair, "Dad, do you know what you're doing?" And then Pacen said, "Yeah, Mom does it better." Hey guys, he's trying! I'm so glad that I have such a good husband to let me be gone for 5 days. And so glad that I have so many good friends willing to watch my kids for me during the day. We are a blessed little family. I love that I don't have to worry while I'm gone.
So that is the update. We're heading up to Julian after Emily's class. Loren needs some yummy food. That hospital had the worst food EVER! And their nursing staff was so slow. My mom would call them to unhook her from her drain, and she'd seriously have to call them back 15 minutes later because they'd still not be there. One time it took them over an HOUR! What the what....an hour?!?! They had a screen saver that had all these definitions and goals for them and it said STAT--within 30 minutes. ASAP or NOW--within 60 minutes. Seriously???? I didn't know as soon as possible was an hour. Silly me...I thought it was as soon as you can get there?!?!
We're glad she's home. We're hoping for a fast recovery so we can get the other treatment going.

What...the...heck?!?!?!?

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?!?! Yeah...that would be my baby on her knees trying to crawl! She immediately fell down, but still. Aahhhh....that makes me crazy!

In other news, I'm off to San Diego tomorrow. With all the stress of my mom I needed to go down and have a little Pace family time. I can't wait to see her and Loren and my sisters.

She can sit!

Look who can sit! She's such a big girl.

I can just see it in her eyes how she just wants to be able to go and play with the big kids. Little does she know she's not allowed to because she's my baby! :)

The good, the bad, and the uncertain.

My mom had her surgery yesterday. It didn't go as well as we hoped. Not absolutely terrible, we're just not out of the woods yet. Cancer sucks! I was a pretty bad emotional wreck yesterday, but today I'm better. It's just hard when it's your mom and I think especially hard when I feel so far away. Not that I could do anything if I were there, but I'd just like to be there. We pray for her daily and Than fasted for her yesterday. I know that is the best thing to do and peace does come from that. We'll get through it, that I know.

Here is an email that Loren sent out that explains the surgery and what went on yesterday.

Hi All: I have just returned from the UCSD Thornton hospital.I guess there is good news, bad news, and uncertainty. The bad news. The surgery turned out to be a much bigger job than expected. A very rough day. Linda was in surgery for 6 hours. The tumor is very aggressive. As they had told me this would take 4 hours, I was a total wreck for the last 2 hours. The tumors that had entered the lymph glands were much larger than expected --- by plenty. The tumors had enlarged the lymph nodes, usually very close to each other, so that they had amalgamated into larger tumors. The tumors pressed on the nerve and on the blood vessel, causing the pain. Linda has a radical neck dissection. They removed all of the cancerous lymph nodes as well as a few clean ones below them. The idea is to block all access for the cancer to spread to the rest of the body. That seems to have succeeded. That is the good news. But a muscle connecting the shoulder and neck was removed, restricting movement in turning the head side to side and in using the shoulder. Tonight Linda was able to turn her head and shrug her shoulders. So other muscles must be picking up the slack. A nerve was also removed, although the one to the vocal chords was preserved. So the left side of her neck will be numb. The nerves should grow back in about a year. The jugular vein was also removed. One uncertainty comes from the pathology reports, expected in a week or so. It will show the mucoepidermoid carcinoma for sure. What else it will show and that this will mean for further treatment remains to be see. Also, there is still seepage of lymph fluid. This could end on its own. If not a procedure will have to be done --- I do not under stand it. So we are unsure when Linda will be going home. The original thought of Thursday is unlikely to happen. Linda will need a PET Scan in May or June. That will determine if any cells exist which are too small today to be picked up by the Scan. When she heals from the surgery, Linda will be able to exercise and ride her horses. What this means in terms of work remains to be seen. If you wish, you can phone her at the hospital: 858-657-6315 (Room 315) She would like that; but wait until she is less groggy. I am sure I have left out some important stuff. But this is the jist of it. Thank you all again for your support.

Loren

And here's cutie pie Claira to boost our spirits.

And the Winner Is...

Ben's Mom! Ben who, you ask. I don't know. I have no idea who ben is other than some kid in Pacen's preschool class, but his mom is the winner of The Best Valentine in Pacen's Bag contest! Isn't it a cute idea? Time consuming, but cute. Congratulations, Ben's mom! Pacen was so excited to have his very own ipod.

And here are some pictures that the kids took of us on our little date on Friday night. Poor cam can barely get her hands around my camera and she is always so sad when we're not in the frame. She did get one with us in it...sort of.

Baby Matthew

Happy Valentine's Day!

Let's hope that everyone's valentine's day is as sweet and wonderful as my friend Ashley's new baby, Matthew. He is adorable. And we are very thankful that he's in the world. Ash has the most terrible 9 months as a pregnant lady. We're glad she's done and he's here and healthy. I took these two week pictures of him. It was so fun to be around a newborn.

Than and I are celebrating our V-day with a soccer game at 6:00pm. Nothing says I love you like playing a soccer game. We actually went out last night with the Krommenhoek's and had a fabulous night without kids. Gotta love adult time. Happy Valentines, everyone!

This is what happens...

...when you put cookies in the oven, then go down to the computer--just for a minute!--to check something. Then a half hour later you realize that you are a moron and go upstairs to find your house all smoked out. They were going to be cute little ducks made with the last little bit of dough I had left over from Camry's playgroup. Such is life.

In other news, Claira thinks she can move. And, well, she's right.

Not crawling, but doing a little spinney-spin.

This is where Claira has been hanging out the past couple of days. She loves it because she can see me, and I love it because she's happy and I can clean the kitchen. Win Win baby.

And she had a 5 month birthday. Wow.

And here's the kiddos. We were all playing in Pacen's room and I tried to get them all to look and smile, but this is cute, too. Typical Camry attacking her and Claira thinking...why me?

Pacen has been sick all week so we've been pretty home bound.

It's been cold and snowy outside so I don't mind.

Weekend...

of playing games but mostly LOSING! And I hate losing! Especially to Than. He's the worst. He gets this cackle...it's so irritating! It's so frustrating because he does it on purpose. I love him, but I HATE losing to him. Here's the rundown--
On Friday night, I took Than out on a high school-esque date at Trafalga. We played:
1 game of Mini-golf
1 game of air hockey
1 game of basketball shootout
1 game of skeeball
How many did I win.....

ZERO!!!!

That night Sam came over to play Acquire (if you like games, you'll love acquire). We played:

2 games of Acquire

How many did I win...

One! So yeah for me.

On Saturday we had a soccer game.

How many goals did I score...

ZERO!

Having a baby takes more out of you than you think.

But we did win the game. Barely.

That night we played Settlers with Jana and Ben.

We played 2 games.

How many did I win...

ZERO!

Then last night we played Acquire again (we're a little obsessed) with the Clowards and did I win...

No!

But it was okay because Meredith won and Than didn't.

Aren't I terrible?!?!

I'm on a losing streak!

Also, Camry was helping me with the dishes and slammed the dishwasher on my finger and made it bleed. But I did get to take a 2 hour nap on Sunday. Wonderful. The sad news is that two of Camry's princess shoes broke after one and a half years of use. Sad days.

These pictures have nothing to do with anything, but isn't she pretty?!?

Buddies...

Pacen and Cam are just good buddies. Pacen always....well, almost always makes sure Camry is doing okay, and Camry is often looking out for Pacen. She'll say, Pacen wants to play cartwheel, mom. He really wants to play. (Cartwheel is mariokart for the lame man.) I don't want to play, I just go on the grass. And then she'll sit there and watch him the entire time he plays. It's kinda sweet.

Pacen's preschool teacher, Miss Melva, said the nicest things about Pacen the other day. She said that everyone in the class likes Pacen and is always very happy and excited to do his work. She said that if she ever asks the class who they could look to as a good example of a listener, they always say Pacen. And then she points out that he's the youngest and that they should listen like Pacen. She said he's just smart and that you just couldn't ask for a better boy. I wholeheartedly agree.

When I was looking through my photos, I thought these made Pacen and Claira look alike. They kind of have those same smiley squinty eyes and cheesey grin.

Yummy Toes...

Apparently I'm not feeding her enough.

She's gone to eating her feet on a regular basis.

"Oh, shoot! She caught me!"

"Oh well, this other one tastes pretty good, too."

We had fun playing with this wonderful pink hat yesterday. Pacen had the day off from school and so we played lots of wii and had a fun day. Can I tell you how sad I'll be when he starts kindergarten!?!? I don't even want to think about it. He's so much fun to have around...except for when he cries over the wii. We've got to break him of that.

This was Cam's outfit that she chose this morning. I have to say, she is getting the hang of matching lately. Just now Camry saw her picture and said, "Look at me! I am so...stinkin'...cute." That's my girl.

This weekend was Carrie Hughes' wedding. Angelee came out for it so we got to spend the weekend together. So much fun. I made her some baby girl bows and ate some brazilian food...did a little shoppy shop...just some things that girls do best...Eat and shop. We roadtripped it up to Logan for the sealing. I don't know Carrie that well, but what I do know is that she and her husband are so happy! It was great to see.